


Professionally Speaking

by littledust



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-05
Updated: 2009-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-17 21:45:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/181476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledust/pseuds/littledust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sue and Emma don't exactly see eye-to-eye on school rules.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Professionally Speaking

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place pre-series. Sue is far too much fun for one character. Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/gleeverse/profile)[**gleeverse**](http://community.livejournal.com/gleeverse/).

Emma had just finished disinfecting the spoon for her yogurt when a hush fell over the teachers' lounge. There hadn't been much conversation to begin with, just the math teachers muttering over freshmen who couldn't do long division, but the silence was... palpable. Foreboding.

She looked up and then farther up, past the red tracksuit and into the disdainful gaze of none other than Sue Sylvester. She had avoided a close encounter with her since being hired, but it appeared her grace period was at an end.

Sue slapped a piece of yellow paper on the table. "Someone is forging notes in your name to get out of gym. Someone who can't even remember that your name is Irma."

Nonplussed, to say the least, Emma set down her spoon and picked up the paper to glance it over. "No, this isn't a forgery. I wrote Jessi this note myself." She took a deep breath, knowing that her next statement wouldn't go over well. "Professionally speaking, she isn't capable of engaging in that kind of physical activity right now."

There was a long pause. Emma carefully set the paper back down on the table, in case it burst into flames from the look on Sue's face. "Professionally speaking, I think there's no cure for the crazy like a game of badminton. That girl could be the next President of the United States. Do you hate America?"

"I--no," Emma replied, trying to process the words coming out of Sue's mouth. They were English, and yet they made no sense.

"Then we're agreed that this note is trash," Sue said, reaching for the paper.

"No!" Emma cried, clutching the paper to her chest. "Sue, Jessi's cousin died two weeks ago on the tennis court! Everyone knows that! Surely you can understand why she can't look at a racket without crying."

"I am offended that you think someone could love another person more than they fear me."

"Don't you care about anyone in your family?"

"I sprang fully grown from my father's head, like Athena."

Emma opened her mouth, but found herself at a loss for words. Did Sue Sylvester win every battle by being so insane that sanity just gave up in despair? She had to fight a desperate urge to laugh. Instead, she said, "Well, you could make Jessi run laps instead."

Sue tapped a finger against her chin, considering. "A suitable punishment for crying in school." She smiled at Emma, which was infinitely more terrifying than a scowl. "You know, I thought you guidance counselors did nothing but coddle children that should be suffering alone, but you're more heartless than you look."

Then she walked off, actually whistling. Emma could only stare after her, and hope that she could avoid conflict with Sue whenever possible. There was crazy, and then there was _crazy_.


End file.
